The Art of Setting Goals That Stick
How to create goals that actually matter—and stay with you, even when life shifts
Have you ever set a goal with the best of intentions—only to feel it drift, fade, or quietly fall apart?
You’re not alone.
It’s not that you didn’t want it enough. And it’s not that you’re undisciplined.
It’s often because the goal wasn’t anchored.
Most of us are taught to set goals by looking forward: pick the outcome, make a plan, push through.
But truly sustainable goals—the kind that withstand life transitions, shifting roles, and evolving identities—don’t just look forward.
They look inward.
Let’s talk about what makes a goal stick.
And more importantly—what makes it worth holding onto.
Step One:
Understand Your True North
Before you set a goal, ask:
What actually matters to me right now?
Who am I becoming—and what do I want to be in service of?
Your core values act like a compass. Without them, goals become empty checkboxes. With them, goals become fuel.
To find your true north:
Reflect on past moments of joy, meaning, and fulfillment. What values were present?
Notice themes that show up again and again—connection, growth, creativity, integrity?
Write them down. Prioritize. Get honest.
One client I worked with realized that every moment of pride in her career involved mentorship. Not high-profile wins. Not revenue. Just helping someone grow. That value—growth through service—became the center point for a completely different leadership path.
📖 Want to go deeper? Harvard Business Review explores how to find, define, and use your values as a guide to leading with more clarity and integrity.
Step Two:
Anchor Ambition to What Matters
It’s one thing to name your values. It’s another to live them.
Anchoring your goals means turning your values into action—not just lofty aspirations, but everyday decisions rooted in who you are.
Try this:
Set goals that are rooted in your values, not just your role or resume.
Ask yourself weekly: Are my actions aligned with what I say matters?
Let your anchor move with the tides—your values may evolve, and so should your goals.
As Harvard Business Review suggests in Don’t Set Your Goals in Stone — Mold Them Like Clay, sustainable goals are flexible, values-driven, and responsive to change. They’re not rigid—they’re resilient.
Anchored goals don’t keep you stuck.
They keep you steady—while giving you space to grow.
Step Three:
Build Resilient Goals with Energy & Insight
Even the most aligned goals will hit resistance.
Life will shift. Priorities will compete. You feel tired, reactive, uncertain.
That’s where Energy Leadership™ and Positive Psychology come in.
Lead with Energy
One of the most powerful insights from iPEC’s Energy Leadership™ framework is this:
The energy you bring into a moment shapes what happens next—especially when you're working toward something that matters.
That includes your personal goals.
Whether you're setting them, avoiding them, second-guessing them, or pursuing them—it’s your energy that determines the experience.
We’re all leading, whether we realize it or not.
We lead our thoughts, our choices, and the stories we tell ourselves when things get hard.
Energy Leadership™ offers a model with seven distinct levels of energy that influence how we approach challenges and opportunities:
At the lower levels (1 and 2), we tend to feel drained, overwhelmed, resentful, or judgmental—we might set goals from pressure, fear, or comparison.
At the higher levels (5, 6, and 7), we access curiosity, creativity, joy, and purpose—and we tend to set goals that are aligned, energizing, and meaningful.
We all move through these levels. The real shift comes when we stop reacting on autopilot—and start choosing consciously.
One client came to coaching stuck in Level 2 energy: she was forcing herself toward a goal that no longer felt right, but she didn’t feel like she had permission to change it. When she shifted into Level 5, she saw a new path—not perfect, but authentic. From that space, her goals evolved. And so did her energy.
To use Energy Leadership™ in your personal goal setting:
Notice your energy when you think about a goal. Do you feel expansion or resistance?
Name the lens you're viewing the goal through. Is it pressure? Possibility? Fear? Inspiration?
Ask what energy level would serve you better—and how you could access it.
Take the Energy Leadership™ Index (ELI) to uncover how your energy shifts under stress and in everyday life—and how that influences your follow-through, focus, and fulfillment. Book a call with me to explore the ELI.
When you lead with conscious energy, your goals evolve from obligation to intention—from “I should” to “I choose.”
Use Positive Psychology to Sustain Momentum
Once you’ve started to shift your energy—to recognize when you’re reacting out of stress versus acting from alignment—you can go even deeper.
That’s where positive psychology comes in.It helps you move beyond managing resistance and into building momentum. Instead of chasing outcomes, you start to build your goals around what fuels you: your strengths, your well-being, your sense of meaning.
Too many goals are born from pressure, perfectionism, or comparison. Positive psychology, however, invites a different foundation: one rooted in strength, well-being, and purpose.
Try this:
Identify your signature strengths—and let your goals grow from those.
Practice gratitude and savoring, especially when progress feels slow.
Build in space for recovery and reflection, not just output and urgency.
📖 Curious how this works in practice? Read more on goal setting and well-being from PositivePsychology.com.
When your goals are rooted in both energy and well-being, they’re not just more sustainable—they’re more joyful.
Step Four:
Navigate Transitions with Reflection
Change has a way of shaking loose all the goals that weren’t truly ours. Whether you’re shifting careers, stepping into a new role, or reevaluating what success even means, transition is fertile ground.
This is the moment to reflect. To realign. Not to abandon your ambition, but to reshape it.
Try this:
Set aside quiet time for reflection—journaling, walking, meditation
Ask: What am I learning about myself through this transition?
Let the insights reshape your goals—not as a setback, but as a refinement. 📖 Harvard Business Review’s “How to Practice Reflective Thinking” explains how guided reflection—like asking what you’re avoiding, or visible blind spots—can transform cluttered thoughts into clear priorities. It helps set more meaningful goals and makes decisions feel less reactive and more
Let's Go Deeper
The goals that stick aren’t always the flashiest.
They’re the ones anchored in who you are and what you value—goals that evolve with you, not against you.
They aren’t about being perfect.
They’re about being aligned.
And when you build goals this way—with clarity, with energy, with intention—you’re not just checking a box.
You’re becoming the kind of person who can hold steady when the tide shifts—and still move forward.
If you’re asking these questions, you’re already closer to alignment than you think.
Let’s make your next step one that reflects who you are—not just where you think you should be going.
Reach out to learn more about Core Energy Coaching™ and the Energy Leadership Index™ (ELI)—a research-backed assessment that reveals how you lead under stress and in flow. Together, we’ll uncover insights that help you navigate transitions, reset what success means, and lead with grounded, authentic energy.
📩 Contact me to schedule a discovery session or learn more about coaching.